Tuesday’s Prompt is pretty random, so I had to get creative, which is good for me, because I like a challenge. I probably scrolled Facebook for a full 20 minutes avoiding this prompt.
A houseplant is dying. Tell it why it needs to live.
Hey, Ron—is it okay if I call you Ron, or is that just your good friends? Sorry, what would you prefer? Fine, sir it is (I don’t feel ridiculous at all). I just came over to talk to you because I can’t let you give up. You have so much to live for. Like what? Well, because… Well, how would your owner, Sam, feel if you died, leaving her a murderer? You have a responsibility to think about others. Yeah, I know she wasn’t thinking about you when she went off to Queensland last week, and all you do is think about her because she’s the only person you know.
Yes, maybe she should have more friends over. Well, I don’t know. No, it’s not because she’s ashamed of you. Of course I’m sure. You think everyone’s against you? There’s a word for that. I guess that does make Sam a bit of a loner. Come on, there’s no need to get personal just because she forgot about you once. She just must not have much time to entertain. All those nights working on the scarf are irrelevant. I don’t see anything wrong with a 20 year old knitting.
But we digress. My point is you need to stop knocking yourself over every time she waters you. Let the water revive you (this is one step away from out and out self-destruction, sir). Yes, I know it’s no luxury fertiliser, but you can’t be too harsh. That stuff is expensive.
…Why are you looking at me like that?
Look, I’m just trying to do you a favour, okay? I don’t need this. It’s not exactly in my best interest for you to make it. No good deed…
What’s that? Oh, the answer seems pretty obvious to me. I’m a compost, remember?
Actually, it’s a free country. Do as you please.
I know it was pretty strange but hope you got a bit of entertainment out of it! Stay with me; I’ll pick a different kind of prompt for tomorrow.
Image: http://www.gardeningknowhow.com/wp-content/uploads/2007/05/houseplant.jpg, sourced 16 April 2016.